Challenges in Friendship
Life is full of challenges. Challenges help us to build who we are. In friendship, we also have challenges. There are two choices we have to deal with challenge: try to resolve it or give up/ quit. Challenges in friendship need commitment and communication. When we are committed to something it means that no matter how painful or how uncomfortable something is, we will always choose to face it and work it through rather than run away from it. Communication is making a space for discussion and talking about how you feel as opposed to just saying what the other person did wrong. If you can say to a friend, “I got my feelings hurt,” rather than, “You hurt my feelings,” you are going to be able to resolve the problem much faster. There is no such thing as an honest friendship that doesn’t have as part of it disagreements, hurt feelings, jealousy, and anger. The key is to remember that the friendship is the most important thing and your pride, your need to be right, is second. Work it out with your heart and know that the friendship will only get stronger with each challenge.
Some tips to deal with challenges in friendship:
- Don’t hide from your problems
We al have devastating moments in life, when terrible, even unimagined things happen that rock our world and affect our lives in negative ways. The question is not how to avoid problems, but how to deal with them once they arrive, how to learn from them, and how to become stronger. Most of the time, we would rather pretend like our problem doesn’t exist. But the only way to begin to heal from heartbreaking situations is to accept its reality and then become willing to work on healing and changing them.
- Tough lessons teach us
Although we have learned about friendship from good things, we have to admit the big lessons that come with a consequence. For example, when we have promised to our friend not to tell it to others, you really must keep it. If you break it, he will get furious and he won’t trust you anymore because you have betrayed his trust. From this example we can learn to keep someone's secret and being a person who can be trusted.
- Be honest about your mistakes
If we can be honest about our mistakes instead of being defensive, we stand a much better chance of being forgiven. It is ironic though how often we will take the defensive and try to convince the other person, and ourselves, that we were justified in our wrongdoing. When you get in a fight with someone you care about, try to talk about it and be willing to admit what you did wrong.
- Keep your heart open
Anytime we open ourselves up to another person, we become vulnerable and can be hurt easily. Although we might be tempted to close our hearts so that we won’t feel the pain, it is so much better to stay open and trust that if you do get hurt, you will be able to work it out.
- Let friends change
Friends are there to let you be yourself and to accept you for who you are now and whoever you may be tomorrow. It’s important to remember that people change and grow, and as friends we need to let that happen; we need to lend our support, not our criticism.
Life is full of challenges. Challenges help us to build who we are. In friendship, we also have challenges. There are two choices we have to deal with challenge: try to resolve it or give up/ quit. Challenges in friendship need commitment and communication. When we are committed to something it means that no matter how painful or how uncomfortable something is, we will always choose to face it and work it through rather than run away from it. Communication is making a space for discussion and talking about how you feel as opposed to just saying what the other person did wrong. If you can say to a friend, “I got my feelings hurt,” rather than, “You hurt my feelings,” you are going to be able to resolve the problem much faster. There is no such thing as an honest friendship that doesn’t have as part of it disagreements, hurt feelings, jealousy, and anger. The key is to remember that the friendship is the most important thing and your pride, your need to be right, is second. Work it out with your heart and know that the friendship will only get stronger with each challenge.
Some tips to deal with challenges in friendship:
- Don’t hide from your problems
We al have devastating moments in life, when terrible, even unimagined things happen that rock our world and affect our lives in negative ways. The question is not how to avoid problems, but how to deal with them once they arrive, how to learn from them, and how to become stronger. Most of the time, we would rather pretend like our problem doesn’t exist. But the only way to begin to heal from heartbreaking situations is to accept its reality and then become willing to work on healing and changing them.
- Tough lessons teach us
Although we have learned about friendship from good things, we have to admit the big lessons that come with a consequence. For example, when we have promised to our friend not to tell it to others, you really must keep it. If you break it, he will get furious and he won’t trust you anymore because you have betrayed his trust. From this example we can learn to keep someone's secret and being a person who can be trusted.
- Be honest about your mistakes
If we can be honest about our mistakes instead of being defensive, we stand a much better chance of being forgiven. It is ironic though how often we will take the defensive and try to convince the other person, and ourselves, that we were justified in our wrongdoing. When you get in a fight with someone you care about, try to talk about it and be willing to admit what you did wrong.
- Keep your heart open
Anytime we open ourselves up to another person, we become vulnerable and can be hurt easily. Although we might be tempted to close our hearts so that we won’t feel the pain, it is so much better to stay open and trust that if you do get hurt, you will be able to work it out.
- Let friends change
Friends are there to let you be yourself and to accept you for who you are now and whoever you may be tomorrow. It’s important to remember that people change and grow, and as friends we need to let that happen; we need to lend our support, not our criticism.
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